TOPIC: CRACK BERRY ADDICTION

THIS IS A SERIOUS ADDICTION.  IT’S LIKE CAMEL CIGARETTES TO HIPSTERS, COCAINE TO  TO AND BREAST MILK TO A BABY-STRAIGHT CRACK

I’M NOT HERE TO DISRESPECT PEOPLE WHO LOVE DOUBLE-GRIPPIN-SHIFTIN AND TYPIN’ AWAY.  GETTIN IT IN, HARD. PAUSE.  SO WHAT? THEY LIKE TO STAY CONNECTED.  THEY HAVE TO, THEY DON’T HAVE A CHOICE BECAUSE THEY ARE ADDICTED TO CRACK.

BUT WHERE DOES THE ADDICTION BEGIN? I THINK IT BEGINS IN THE ABILITY TO HAVE SILENT LAUGHTER, TEARS, SORROW, ANGER, SHOCK, DANGER, BOY GEORGE AND EVERY OTHER HUMAN EMOTION ALL IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ON A 2 INCH BOX, ALL WHILE KEEPIN THE DETERMINED STRAIGHT FACE.  THIS IS WHERE MUH FACKS GETS FUCKED UP…HE NEVER KNOWS WIT THESE CRACK BERZ. WHAT ARE THEY REALLY TALKIN BOUT? WHATS THE FUSS?  YOU NEVER KNOW…

THEY MIGHT BE TYPIN AWAY N READIN N SHIT, BUT THEY MIGHT BE TALKIN BOUT SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE “YO GIRL, YOU THINK YOU PREGNANT?! OH NO HE DIDN’T, DID WHAT?”  OR THEY COULD BE TALKIN BOUT SOMETHING LIKE BASEBALL.  OR THEY COULD BE TALKIN BOUT SOME SHIT LIKE “YO THIS MUH FUCKA RIGHT HERE SMELL LIKE RAT PISS SITTIN ON PIGEON SHIT.WORD EW.

ANOTHER THING THAT FUCKS ME UP IS WHEN MUH FACKS SEES A CRACK BUR ADDICT TRYNA TALK TO A NON CRACK ADDICT.  THEIR FACE/HEAD IS TURNED TOWARDS YOU BUT THEY EYES IS GLUED TO THE 2INCH SCREEN(NOW THE MONEYS GETTIN STUCK TO THE GUM UNDER THE TABLE – GZA’S LINE ON PROTECT YA KNECK) THAT SHIT BE LOOKIN ALL CRAZY..LOOKIN LIKE CRACK ADDICTS. WORDUP.

I FIND IT AMUSING.  THIS PERSON IS HAVIN 46 CONVERSATIONS AT ONCE. THAT SHIT IS ON SOME BARNUM & BAILEY JUGGLIN ACT SHIT.WORDUP.

BUT THE ILL SHIT BOUT THE CRACKBERRY IS THIS: IT CAN ACT AS A SHIELD FOR LADIES.  IM NOT OFFENDED AT ALL. WOMEN GET CROTCH THROWN AT EM EVERY WHICH WAY.  SO THEY NEED PROTECTION. A 5 INCH SHIELD CALLED THE CRACK BERRY.

BUST THIS.  HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HUMP TRYNA MACK IT, MAD SUAVE LIKE TO SOME CUTE CHICK WIT A CRACK BERRY?  SHE HOLDIN IT UP, WHILE HER ELBOWS ARE ON THE TABLE, THE CRACK BERRY HOVERING OVER THE DRANK.  THAT HER WAY OF SAYIN, “MUH FUCKA IM BUSY WIT FACEBOOK,TWITTER,IM,GMAIL,YAHOO,ESPN,MY BLOG, HIS BLOG, HER BLOG, TOMORROWS PLANS..ALL THAT SO BACK OFF, DICKFACE!

ANOTHER DOPE THING ABOUT THE CRACK BERRY IS THIS:

YOU’LL BE TALKIN TO YOUR FRIEND ( AND YOU KNOW HE/SHE SMOKIN CRACK AT THE MOMENT ) YOU ASKIN/TALKIN TO THAT PERSON BOUT SOMETHING. (IN YOUR HEAD YOU KNOW THIS MUH FUCKA IS NOT LISTENING AT ALL.  HE/SHE JUST BEING THE CRAZY YESMAN, BUT YOU SAY IT ANYWAY)

THATS HOW GOOD THE OUTSIDERS LOOKIN IN GOT, YALL.. WE KNOW WHEN YOU NOT LISTENIN AND WE’VE ACCEPTED IT.  BUT WHAT MUH FACKS DOES IN RETURN IS THIS:  I TALK BOUT SOME SERIOUS SHIT WHILE THEY SMOKIN DAT CRACK AND I HEAR  BUNCHA “UH HUH, UH UH UH ,,YEAH. UHUHUH YEAH YEA YES MANYESYES”…OK,STFU. WHAT DID I JUST SAY MUH FUCKA? REPEAT DAT? “OH YOU WERE TALKIN BOUT HOW UHH…..AND AT THAT MOMENT THEY WILL DO 1 OF 2 THINGS…FINISH THE LAST BIT OF CRACK OR JUST COME CLEAN LIKE JERU.PAUSE. AND SAY “YO WHATCHU SAY MAH BAD I WASN’T PAYIN ATTENTION”  NO SHIT, SHERCOCK. YOU WERE SMOKING CRACK. BUSTED.

AY…MUH FACKS CAN BE WRONG BUT MUH FACKS JUST WANTED YOU TO TEACH HIM HOW TO KEEP YOUR HEAD STATIONED IN ONE WHOLE OTHER DIRECTION WHILE YOUR EYEBALLS IS ON THE PRIZE (2 INCH SQUARE). THAT SHIT IS IMPRESSIVE.

TEACH ME.